Well, presumably as a result of a conversation she had with her friend last night, she wrote me this morning and essentially called it off. A part of me knew it was coming, but that doesn't lessen the pain. To go into the details would take a long time, so I shall refrain. I called her this morning and spoke to her for a few minutes, and even though I think I knew even then what was coming, it was everything in the world to me just to hear her sleepy voice and the sound of her body as it moved in the sheets.

I love her. This is the hardest thing in my life to turn away from. And this day has been hell. Perhaps one day she'll come back; perhaps one day she'll realize what we had and show up and ask for it again. And it frightens me to think that I may just drop everything if that possibility arises.